Thursday, August 4, 2016

That was Then, This is Progress




Things have changed over the years in the good old Home of the Brave. It seems that sometime between the Progressive era (1890 to 1920) and the post war years our little Republic started to become an increasingly expensive, unresponsive, and out of touch behemoth running amok. This worrisome development has continued unabated to the present day. As the old maxim says, "Follow the money."

Source: Wikipedia

If you're not a numbers person, how about following your feelings? The most recent report card on how Americans feel about their Federal Legislature shows that approval ratings have ebbed to the current low tide level of 11%. In my estimation, that's on par with North Korea's government or maybe Coke II's consumer response, but not for freely elected representatives!

Aim for the Porch Light!


What gives? We put these jamokes in office and then we despise them? Is it us? Are we really that fickle? Maybe they just spend too much time lying to us on the campaign trail or perhaps we spend too much time believing them. They do put on a hell of a good show when running for office. Then, when they get to Washington DC, it's Welcome Back, Kotter and Maude reruns.


I think the problem is that they don't really represent us. Oh, they need us to get elected, but then for the most part we've served our purpose.


Seriously, think about it, when was the last time you felt anyone in Congress was looking out for your interests?


"That Representative Whatever, he's looking out for my family!" 
"Senator Umptyscratch, she's a gem! I'm going to name my first daughter after her."

Most people would love to shoot out their representative's porch light on at minimum semi-annual basis, (that is the recommended corrective maintenance interval) but that would count as an act of terrorism, and the Judiciary has yet to define  "Justifiable terrorism", although if there were such a thing, this would qualify, in my unqualified opinion. The lawmakers should have preempted the need for a court ruling. That's just another reason to hate the guy or gal you voted for six months ago, but now haven't the foggiest notion why. You remember punching the card next to their name, but why? Oh, yes, because the other person running was Beelzebub.


That's the sad state to which our republic has devolved, we vote against the person who we don't want to represent us. This, sadly, doesn't in any way guarantee that the less vomitous candidate is suitable to carry our voice to the Capitol and they probably aren't suitable for anyone with a gross adjusted income of less than 8 digits. That my friends is the most popular, justifiable, and strikingly forlorn reason that we hate them so much. Our "Representatives" don't represent us? Not even close, not even in the ballpark, and we're not even playing baseball. In truth, we're playing Russian roulette with a single shot bolt-action rifle. Not a satisfying milliue for the "greatest, most free, richest, and most rocking nation on the planet".

But that's what we get Republicans or Democrats. Beelzebub or the bullet. What leaves us with a sense of despondence is we can't effectively express our dissatisfaction without opting out of the political system all together. Sure, there are those other candidates. Let's take a moment to reflect on the field outside of the Prince of Darkness and the person you're going to vote for by default.


  • There's a couple parties that only care about white people. 
  • There's three that are only concerned with black people. 
  • At least a dozen are socialist, or have "socialist" in their name. Every one of them insist that they are the only real Socialists and the rest are bourgeois. 
  • A growing slate are "green" oriented. The Mountain Party is opposed to coal mining in West Virginia. Talk about single issue politics!
  • My former political home, the Libertarian Party is still active and actively going nowhere. I guess freedom isn't as appealing to Americas dependent on those monthly United States Treasury checks.
Not a one of these parties, stand a snowballs chance in the hometown of the candidate you refuse to vote for. We can't take a chance and vote for a third party, because that's throwing your vote away. So, instead, you'll do the prudent thing and vote for what's his name because at least he's not beelzebub. That's a well used vote!

There's no way you would ever vote for Beelzebub, and that's why you did vote for this other guy, a lesser minion of the Dark Realm.

At least he will be after you shoot out his porch light.