The Hippocratic Oath Decoded

I swear by Apollo the Healer, by Asclepius, by Hygieia, by Panacea, and by all the gods and goddesses, making them my witnesses, that I will carry out, according to my ability and judgment, this oath and this indenture. (A subjective oath sworn before false gods. That's something to bet your life on.)

To hold my teacher in this art equal to my own parents; to make him partner in my livelihood; when he is in need of money to share mine with him; (Welcome to the first Multi-level marketing scam!) to consider his family as my own brothers (it even has a downline) , and to teach them this art, if they want to learn it, without fee or indenture; to impart precept, oral instruction, and all other instruction to my own sons, the sons of my teacher, and to indentured pupils who have taken the physician’s oath, but to nobody else. (That's makes it a cartel.)

I will use treatment to help the sick according to my ability and judgment, but never with a view to injury and wrong-doing. Neither will I administer a poison to anybody when asked to do so (Dr. Kevorkian notwithstanding) nor will I suggest such a course. Similarly I will not give to a woman a pessary to cause abortion (You just lost the support of many women. Good doctor perhaps, but not politically skilled). But I will keep pure and holy both my life and my art (Just lost the support of most scientists). I will not use the knife, not even, verily, on sufferers from stone, but I will give place to such as are craftsmen therein. (The seed of overspecialization was planted here.)

Into whatsoever houses I enter (The reference to house calls demonstrates how antiquated this oath is), I will enter to help the sick, and I will abstain from all intentional wrong-doing and harm, especially from abusing the bodies of man or woman, bond or free. And whatsoever I shall see or hear in the course of my profession, as well as outside my profession in my intercourse with men, if it be what should not be published abroad, I will never divulge, holding such things to be holy secrets (barring an Act of Congress e.g. - HIPPA clauses)

Now if I carry out this oath, and break it not, may I gain for ever reputation among all men for my life and for my art; but if I break it and forswear myself, may the opposite befall me (and my malpractice premiums increase).