I Want a Refund!

The Paris Accord: Celebrated by Douchebags Globally

Not too long ago, I took the time to read through the much lauded Paris Accord on Global Climate Change. Not just the overrated thirty-two page signatory document that is shoved in front of your face every time you Google "Paris Accord", even on Wikipedia. All 195+ pages of the actual meat of the matter took me a little over three days of reading at two to three hours a day. (Thirty percent was actual reading. The remaining seventy percent was deciphering what the hell I just read.) That's six to nine hours of my mortal life I can never get back again, and I want a refund.

I've read a lot of legal documents in my day, and never before have I read one with so many caveats, loopholes, escape clauses, and pitfalls, yet still be acclaimed as a magnificent artifact of human cooperation. This thing is worse than a gym membership agreement and a music club contract combined. The most ubiquitous statements made in this remarkable examples of legalese horseshit reads like this…


That in layman's terms says absolutely nothing except "We're going to accept your legalese horseshit statement about climate change."

PERIOD!
NO COMMITMENT TO MAKE ANY CONCRETE CHANGES WHATSOEVER.
NOTHING!

So, if Climate Change is such a grave threat to all life on planet Earth, why do politicians keep telling you it is but then acting like it's not.

Actions speak louder than words, even when written in legalese!

We're done with the bullshit… er… horseshit!

I want a refund!