I'll be adding subsequent chapters when I stop laughing. It may be a while.
Part One (Of Your Vivisection): Prison by 8 AM
6:30
a.m. You
are awakened by your clock radio. You know it is actually 6:30
because by
law the National
Institute of Standards and Technology is
the only organization allowed to
keep the official time regardless
of how outdated, inefficient, or bloated this bureaucracy has become
and
how badly it has performed over the past century and hobbling our
trade by keeping us on the Standard system when the rest of the world
is Metric.
And you can listen to your favorite radio station only because the
Federal Communications Commission limits
your choices and makes sure that radio, television, and cable remain
monopolized and Byzantine. It
ensures, for example, that radio stations do not overlap whose signals crowd our nation’s airwaves with
many
different "options" all owned by the same very few providers, but most importantly it gives the Federal government the power to pull the plug on anyone who doesn't tow the Party Line. Hooray
for the illusion of choice!
6:35
a.m. Like
17 million other Americans, you have asthma. You get out of
bed you notice that you are breathing just as poorly as usual this morning. This is
thanks in no small
part
to government clean air laws that
reduce the air pollution that would otherwise greatly worsen your
condition.
that
establish legal pollution levels allowing polluters
to continue killing 60, 000 people every year with the very air they
breath.
6:38
a.m. You
go into the kitchen for breakfast. You pour some water into your
coffeemaker. You simply take for granted that this water is safe to
drink. But in fact you count on your city water department to
constantly monitor the quality of your water and to immediately take
measures to correct any potential problems with this vital resource,
just
like the people in Flint Michigan could count on it when the Federal
city manager appointed during the near bankruptcy of Flint did. The
government’s Gold Standard for Lead in your drinking water. The
prosecutor subsequently dropped all charges against the perpetrators. No one will ever be held accountable. No one will pay a price except the victims. Thanks Uncle Scam!
6:39
a.m. You
flip the switch on the coffee maker. There is no short in the outlet
or in the electrical line and there is no resulting fire in your
house. Why? Because when your house was being built, the electrical
system had to be inspected to make sure it was properly installed –
a service provided by your local government that
adds a considerable amount to the cost of your house and provides you
with no warranty against poor workmanship, faulty materials, or even
an improper inspection. However, the inspection ensures that you have
complied with the many regulations and codes designed to keep certain
manufacturers in business and prevent competition from others.
And
it was installed by an electrician who was licensed by your state
government,
which
may or may not have anything to do with his competence, but certainly
has a lot to do with his price,
to
ensure his competence and your safety both arbitrary standards set by lawyers with self interest in mind. .
6:45
a.m. You
sit down to breakfast with your family. You are having eggs – a
food that brings with it the possibility of salmonella poisoning, a
serious food-borne illness affecting tens of thousands of Americans
every year. But the chance of you getting sick from these eggs has
now been greatly reduced as
far as individual cases,
but
do to the consolidation of the food industry and the failure of the
USDA to do any meaningful food safety testing when there is an
outbreak it affects thousands of people across 7 to 10 States,
by
a recently passed series of strict federal rules that apply to egg
producers. Which
if you actually bother to fact check, doesn’t ring true when you
consider the “series of strict federal rules that apply to egg
producers” amounts to “eliminate prescriptive regulations,
including those requiring prior approval by FSIS of egg products
plant drawings, specifications, and equipment”, some revisions in
inspection that will cut inspectors hours and turn them into
traveling spot checkers, and a lot of renaming things that have ZERO
effect on food safety.
7:00
a.m. You
go into your newly renovated bathroom – one of a number of
amenities that you enjoy in your house. But the fact that you can
legally own
rent
your
house
is something made possible by government who
charges you rent every six months in the form of property taxes for
the privilege of renting the home.
Should
you fail to pay this rent the government will come and throw you out
of it and sell it to someone else. Think
about this: “ownership” and “private property” are not things
that exist in nature. These are legal constructs: things created by
laws that are passed and enforced by government often
to your detriment and the governments benefit.
You
couldn’t even buy your home without a system of commercial laws
concerning contracts and a government that ensures that sales
contracts are enforced. So the fact that you live in your own home
is, in part, a benefit of government and the rule of law.
That
struck out section is complete tripe, and only contains a scintilla
of truth in that government requires all the paperwork so they know
who to tax. The fact that it stands up in court is by legal fiat and
not some benevolent act by government in your interest. Private land
sales and transfers have successfully existed for thousands of years
without any government involvement or added expense.
7:01
a.m. Government
also helps you own your house in more than the legal sense.
Same
tripe being restated as if it were true.
On
a more practical level, the federal government actually gives you
money it stole from others every year to help pay for your house. It’s called theft a mortgage
interest tax deduction and it is one of the larger smaller thefts benefit programs
run by the federal government – amounting to over $60 billion
dollars a year in loot. Which
is actually a concession to the Real Estate sector as it makes it
easier to sell homes and get buyers to qualify. The more efficient
way to apply this would be not to tax money paid towards a mortgage
at all. Thereby creating a tax free investment in America’s future.
Unfortunate, “mortgage interest tax deduction” sounds like
they’re doing something big for you when considering the size of
the investment adds up to be a little bit of nothing. You
can also deduct any real
estate taxes
rent
you
pay. These largely overlooked subsidy programs have enabled millions
of people to buy their first home or to move up to a larger home than
they could afford otherwise, and
sometimes be wiped out by government legislation and Federal Reserve
intervention that set up the continuation of the spiraling housing
bubble where we find ourselves in a death roll.
7:02
a.m. Back
in the bathroom. You use the toilet and flush it. Your local
government then takes care of transporting this waste, treating it,
and disposing of it in an environmentally responsible manner – all
without a second thought by you,
until
you get your exorbitantly high water bill and you have third and
fourth thoughts over how the hell you can afford to keep renting your
house. Later you discover that the water bill is mostly waste water
treatment costs which used to be reasonable, but because of recent
legislation some municipalities have been completely bankrupted by
the new legal “safe water standards.”
7:20
a.m. As
you are getting dressed, a glance outside the window shows some
ominous clouds. You check the weather on your TV. All these weather
forecasts are made possible by information gathered and analyzed by
the National Weather Service, a government agency which
just like the National Institute of Standards and Technology has
a monopoly on weather prediction regardless of how often their
predictions are wrong, how inefficient, or bloated the “Weather
Shaman Principality” bureaucracy becomes, you will tithe to them .
Every day, on your behalf, it takes in 190,000 weather observations
from surface stations, 2,700 from ships, 115,000 from aircraft,
18,000 for buoys, 250,000 from balloons, and 140 million from
satellites – all
at a cost of $7 billion dollars whether you are happy with the
service or not. ….all
ostensibly
just to help you plan what to wear and make sure you don’t get
stuck in a snow storm, but
who knows? Weathermen earned a reputation for being wrong a great
deal while working for the overblown National Weather Service.
And oh yes, this agency may save your life (or
cost you your life) with
its hurricane and tornado warnings,
if
they get it right for once.
7:30
a.m. Before
you leave home, you take your pills to control your high blood
pressure. But how do you know that this medicine is safe or
effective? You
don’t. Without
the testing required by the Food and Drug Administration, you
wouldn’t
you
still don’t.
And with
or
without
the vigilance of the FDA, you could still
easily
fall victim to unscrupulous marketers of unsafe and worthless
medicines, like
oxycodone which not only addicts you but disables you from getting
back on your own two feet.
Once
addicted, thanks to the FDA claiming Oxies were less addictive than
other opiates and “safe as aspirin” you fall into a life of crime
trying to avoid withdrawal pains and feed your addiction. The DEA,
DOJ, and local law enforcement will totally fail to notice hundreds
of thousands of oxycodone pills flowing from mom and pop pharmacies
every month. Additionally, they will think nothing of the lines of
the newly addicted lined up for three blocks or wrapping around
pharmacies nationwide for the better part of a decade. What law
enforcement will not miss is your latest reckless crime spree and
along with the DOJ send you off to prison for a few years where
no one will care that all you did was go to the doctor for a broken
ankle and 12 months later you ended up in prison thanks to the FDA!
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