It's Our Annual Pay Octuple the Price Get Nothing Sale |
We had the American RePublic...
Who wants any kind of "public" government anyway? It's trashy. Isn't a private, exclusive government more American when you think about it? Like our own privileged country club we're excluded from for millionaires and billionaires to invite their friends and family to share in the ambiance of wealth and power without all our preying eyes and babbling mouths asking inane questions like, "Where the fuck is all our money?" Barbaric! A government of the ruling elite where only the first names change every few years and the dynasty continues. That's the kind of government we're voting for, fighting for, trolling for, and dying for... mainly because we are too uneducated to recognize it.
I may have started with a poor definition of "RePublic", but you'll never figure out the difference because you haven't so far.
We had inalienable Rights...
Why should aliens have Rights anyway? They just come here and take our jobs and live off welfare. Then, because they hate our freedom so much they blow up iconic office buildings and dance in the streets when Americans die. That's why they shouldn't have inalienable Rights so we can fly over their countries and bomb the living shit out of people whenever, wherever, and for as long as we want. That's what REAL freedom is about... the freedom to drop American bombs any size, anyplace, anytime forever without repercussions. Zero blow-back as long as we can keep a muzzle on people in the press and lock up traitors who don't keep their mouths shut when we kill the innocent. Hell, it's on the other side of the planet. Who cares? Keep it out of the news and cover it up with funny classic Trump Tweets. Covfefe!
I know we've wandered a long way off the point. That's the point!
We had the American Dream...
Which other than a brief window of opportunity between 1945 and 1965 has always been more delusion than fulfilled prophesy. We had it, at least for a little while. Who really wants a goddamn white picket fence anyway? We need a border wall. A gigantic 700 foot tall white picket fence from the Gulf of Mexico (Made in China) to the Sino-Pacific Ocean (Made in China). Think of the thousands of jobs we will create painting that motherfucker every three years. That's going to be a lot of hard work in a hot, humid climate working under dangerous conditions... Yup, that sounds like a lot of work... for Mexicans. Come to think of it, if it's Mexicans doing the actual work, then we'll only need a crew of about twenty. One must be semi-fluent in English and have a valid drivers license.
How much can we save on the Mexicans if we buy them on Amazon from China?
Free shipping?
I know it seems like I'm way off track here, but that's how far off track our American economy has run. It's like watching a nineteen trillion dollar train wreck. You're gonna' want to see this because you'll never see another one like it. Sure, the stock market is doing great but that's with the cost of borrowing money to throw into equities at effectively zero percent. Smells like a bubble to me.
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